A Flicker of Light

The past few weeks since my emotional crash, I have been on a journey of self discovery. It has not been easy and it continues to not be an easy journey. Each day that goes by, raises many more questions. What is my life's purpose? I keep reprimanding myself because I use my head way to much. I keep trying to answer the question by throwing myself into work. Running 3 jobs is not easy. It has not answered any questions over the years. It has only made it a lot harder to find the answer.

I thought that my soul was getting lost until that turning point in my life. Well, the soul never gets lost, it only starts to scream. Through that ranting, I realised that I need to start listening to the heart. To that inner voice. Seeing that I have been trained to think for so many years with my brain, this will be one of the hardest challenges. Still the mind and open the heart. I know that in a very distant past when I did listen to that "gutt feeling", I have never been lead astray. So with patience and love to myself, I will relearn to follow my heart and listen to the inner intuition.

To some people what I am about to say may make me sound lunny. In all honesty, all that matters is what works for me. I have been asking the angels to guide me. I must say, since I started asking for guidance, every night I have been having very vivid dreams. Up until this point, my dreams over the past few years became less and less, almost to the point of non-existence. Since I have started talking with the angels again, I have dreamt every night. I wake up with words in my mind that I would never have thought of in a million years.

I still don't know what is my life's purpose. All I do know is as each day dawns, so does the chance of self discovery. I know in my heart as I find peace in my mind so will my eyes be opened. At the end of the day, it is not about being right but about the experience and lessons we gain at being better than our self. I may say these words, and at the end of the day, after fighting with co-workers and the boyfriend, I am reminded of my humanity and all my faults. These are the challenges that have been given to me in order to try and overcome them in becoming a great being of light.

I came across a saying while writing this blog, and I leave this with you as we part.

"Do not fear going forward slowly, fear only to stand still." Chinese wisdom

With love
Ania